First proper Holiday…..

…in ten years!

Yes I find myself away on holiday for a week staying in Yorkshire, went fishing for the first time in 10 years yesterday and managed to catch a couple of smaller fish, the carp were spawning so no luck there..

Many comments about that’s the biggest fish in ten years or the most fish caught in ten years were had.. and It rained cats and dogs.. Ironically the Brollie appears to not be waterproof so got soaked.

Took huge Carp rods and don’t see them being used now, luckily brought a few smaller rods and some floats so had a laugh with that. Was nice to just spend a day faffing and not worrying about work 🙂

So work and everything had calmed down a tad for at least the next month, I’m back to work for one day then fly to Milan for a commercial and technical meeting before covering for another project again for 2 weeks.. I think I will then not be available for anything else as I try and get a handle on being in charge passing out the work to others rather than doing it myself, this as it turns out is a great way of finding out stuff I have missed or even pointing out some as I can see it now helicopter view.

My health has take a beating other the last 12 months with my blood pressure that of a 90 year old, and my struggle to keep fit, Angel has been using the treadmill more and more and can at times out pace me walking now.. which shows I need to work on my weight and fitness levels.. So that’s my aim going forward.

I’m not going to talk about the Uni Course.. I really REALLY struggled with it, the difficulty increased just as I was taking on more and more work which didn’t help. But I may get the chance for a re-take on the exam lets see.

The company recognised my efforts and awarded me a bonus, which I would have preferred to be time off but alas no the taxman needs more of my hard earner bonus it seems, I left it too late to request the bonus was donated so I ended up paying tax on it.. paid towards this holiday though so silver linings and all that.

I really need to reach out to people and catch up, but I feel I don’t deserve to do that as I cut ties in the first place.. I’m sure everyone is much better off without me around poking my nose in anyway.

Oh and off to Kickstart in Nottingham end of next week for a day.. If it were bigger I would have gone for 2 days but.. I’m getting older and can’t see myself spending money on things I may already have or won’t have the time to play with.. Man I’m turning into a moany old git!

Anyway I’ll try and check in a bit more from now, no promises though!

Oh I’m on Mastodon if you want to link up 🙂

So how is it going, Auroa?

I have now been working as an FTE (Full Time Employee) for just over 6 months and have seen my workload go from not much (making me wonder why I was employed) to supporting 3 projects and feeling overwhelmed and unprepared.

I had my first assessment Yesterday and the response was positive, however I have started to feel I’m firefighting, rather than working to a goal or schedule.

Anyway health wise I am not feeling great, back pain again and I must admit this is down to just not doing the exercises, at least that’s what I hope anyway.

I have been struggling with my OU course work and in general I think I may have bitten off more than I can handle.

On top of all that I have an hours long presentation planned for the end of the month on one of the projects where I will be the main person.. Yes so a day of meetings and I am hosting them. And I have done about 5% preparation for the meeting which is not great. Lets not even talk about the presentation I have to give the day before to over 150 people on my part in the project… 

So maybe I have started to feel what everyone else has been dealing with for the last 20 years, honestly being a contractor was a walk in the park compared to this!

On the bright side I’m this far into the year and used 1 day of my 39 available so yeah that should be interesting as I have booked holidays for the rest of this year and still have 4 days to use.. Not to mention I’m probably owed about 1 and a half weeks worth of time from all the overtime in Jan and Feb this year!

Oh we finally got to see the northern lights and they are amazing, so much better in person 🙂 Here are a few shots.

The Northern Lights as seen from our bedroom window
And another shot showing slightly round to the East (right) again from the bedroom window (held camera just below window and I’m lucky I didn’t drop it lol).

Back to work fulltime!

After 18 years as a contractor I will be starting a fulltime role from the 1st of August as a “Senior Project Lead”, working on the largest offshore wind farm. Which lets be frank is a little bit of a joke as every new wind farm is the largest.

So I have traded working for a big pay cheque, well the business got one not that I ever saw much of it, for a small steady one and a thing called annual leave, would you credit I get 38 days a year no less.

On top of that I get my first iPhone, which will probably never get used and stuck on my desk or in a bag. I know lots of you love iPhones and anything Apple but this is a work one so I will have no way of installing apps on it and everything is tracked sooo.. Just going to sit in my bag as I say 😉

What else has happened.. Let’s see;

  • Battery system for solar panels blew up
  • Smashed a wind doing some overzealous strimming
  • Angels car started coughing all the time with lights on the dash
  • Applied for 3 jobs, got knocked back for the first one
  • Physio needed for my knees as unable to walk up stairs unaided at times 🙁

And now some good

  • 1st Job I applied for called back saying I had asked for too much money, agreed a realistic rate and that’s the job I’m starting in August
  • The other two jobs were then refused as I got the first one 🙂
  • Battery system is now functional again after a refurbished inverter/charger arrived from China
  • Angel traded her car for a better one she has been after for years (happy days)
  • Had a couple of gaming weekends with board games, cards, rock band and Beat Saber
  • Physio has changed my life ! I can now walk and have exercises to do which are improving other issues I had (or still have in some cases)
  • Bought an AMD EPYC Server, still need to set it up though (32 cores 64 threads)

So things have changed.. oh yes have a Hot tub now as well installed the wiring and changed the board over to mainly RCBO’s, because “why not”. Calculated the hot tub would cost about 2-3 quid a month to run from May through to October. As long as panels are getting enough juice it warms during the day and when go in it in the evening it’s lovely 🙂

A lot of other bits as well, 3D printing container sprung a leak I need to resolve (next weekend) and moved the CNC machine into a container which needs a damn good tidy before I spin it up for some bits and bobs.

Right that’s my little fingers worn out so lets see if I can make it back here before the end of the year for another update!

And so 2022

I have, I think it’s fair to say, has a terrible 2021.

I retook the exam I failed and now can say I’m a qualified Project Manager (PFQ PMQ) not that it means much in the long term, or short for that matter. I took a couple of other courses 18th Edition, IOSH and some random stuff, started my OU Engineering course and generally tried to pick up some more skills.

I was set for a long term role on the large Wind farm that failed to materialise and in August found myself back with the same old company working on another remedial campaign, which was cancelled a month after I joined (ho hum).

Looking back at my last post and 2021 in general it shows in my post clearly I was hurting and not in a good place, I used to joke about depression but feeling the icy clutches of it in reality is not nice… I can only hope I can get myself out of this downwards trend I seem set on.

So what about 2022 I hear you ask?

Well the OU course is hard going I’m struggling with mental issues I have never faced before so that’s not got any better, however I have started to walk again on the treadmill and look forwards rather than back. Honestly still having a role is amazing and a big surprise, however that may be ending soon so I shouldn’t shout too loudly from the hill tops.

I’ll try and update this a little more as a way of tracking myself and how I am mentally, but no promises.

I hope everyone who passes this way is doing well and has a great year.

Stay safe folks!

The year is 2021, …the place Earth

So the year started well enough, I looked to be moving to a couple of R&D type supporting roles (of a sort anyway) I had training rebooked. The Pandemic was slowly coming under some sort of control, mainly because of the vaccines and a stupid number of people around the world were not hearing about injecting bleach and stuffing light bulbs up a rectal passage but one of the most powerful (and as it turns out dumb) people in the world.

Come to the end of February and things are not so great, my chances of a plumb role have gone and because I wanted to be honest and helpful I have begun to see my role side-lined and dismantled as those above looked to find ways of staying attached to projects (and earning money).

It came to a head in March when I was expected to sit on front of my computer in case I was required, so I took a week off in March no on missed me so I decided to do a couple more days and then finish up.

During the last 3 years I have had many ups although these have been at the expense of my health and mental well being, even now I find myself struggling and don’t honestly know when I will be *ok*.

To add to the list I failed my first attempt at an exam and got the results back on the worst possible day (although I was not expecting to pass, if I’m totally honest with myself), then sadly Tia had to be put to sleep as she was just struggling so much and it has broken our hearts.

So 2021.. Not so great so far, looking second vaccine dose in the coming week(s), and slowly starting to see some improvements with places opening up again.

I honestly wonder if I will be ok before 2022 arrives, I have filled most of my time between the last contract and not with training and doing stuff to take my mind of things.. But it’s harder than it should be damn it.

Will be looking for another contract come July, along with getting fitter..